Where'd the Love Go?
I've seen comments lately about "fake friends" on social media. I've read posts such as: "fake friends aren't for me" and "my real friends know me and everyone else following me is along for the show." In the case of the ladder, the person actually called her feed a "show." I thought it was pretty funny. Social media is out of control. There are online friends and real life friends. But seriously, are we really friends with someone we've never met? No matter how hard it tries, social media will never replace looking someone straight in their natural eye. Before there were picture sharing apps, we printed our photos and shared them with our real life friends and family, not the world. I remember doing this all the time, until electronic cameras came on the scene. My hard copy, chronological photo collection stops around the early aughts and my son is fascinated by them, as if they're antiques or something (WTF?). Marilyn Manson called it all in the 90's: .. "we're .. all .. stars .. now;" just not sure how "dope" the social media show is?!
Commenting about fake friends on social media is an oxymoron; unless you know them in real life, don't even get me started on the fake profiles or the ones with no pictures or with pictures of a cartoon or some other nonsense. What about social media friends you know in real life, but haven't seen in a long time? There are friends who will stay friends no matter how long and far apart it's been. I can think of a few off the top of my head who would fit this scenario. I know I could call them out of the blue and we'd be back to where we left off - wherever the heck that was! Of course there would be some talk over the time lapse. The reason for this is because I know there was and is a real friendship bond between us. There are other types of friends, such as acquaintances or past co-workers or a friend of a friend who we know but maybe not that well and are on social media with. The latter you may never see again in real life, or you may, it's not really on your radar, as you were never close, they're neutral friends.
Then there are friends you did get close to and aren't anymore, yet still on social media with. It could be a case where one moved away and in that case you're happy to have a connection. Then there are those you were close to and who still live in your same city, yet you never see in person. It happens, especially with covid, it forced us to learn how to live well in our own little bubbles. If you're anything like me, you have friends you're close with and friends you're super close with. Close friends will always remain in your heart and if and when either party reaches out, the other -- I would imagine -- would be there to respond. With the way covid changed our lives, we have to be able to have this wiggle room or passes with relationships we didn't have before. Super close friends are ones who even through covid you "got together" with, in those weird ways we did: video happy hours, texts or meme exchanges et cetera and that odd but still available thing of talking on the phone, weird, I know.
Given all of this, I'm not sure about the fake friend thing still or "frienemies" as they're called? I can only think of one scenario for these types of people, the work place. Outside of that, if someone is a frienemy, in my world, they're just cut. I'm too busy to be concerned with someone who's pretending to be my friend, but is secretly my enemy. First off, I'd feel it and second, I have other friends I can give that energy to, rather than bothering with a fake. I cleaned fake friend house a long time ago, at least I think I did, perhaps there are still some left and there's something darker I don't understand ? ! Work is a different scenario. Work people are colleagues, not necessarily friends or "family." There's nothing worse than co-workers who call everyone "family," slow down bruh, let's start with friends. To get in the friend zone, a meaningful connection has to be made and this isn't possible with every person at work or on your large "team," LOL.
Work friends you do have connections with can become close or super close friends. What happens when you're close with someone at work and they stab you in the back, but you still have to work with them? This my friends is what you call an "instafrienemy" and "instaawkward." You're forced to be cordial at work, because there's work to be done. Outside of work, sure, pretend the person doesn't exist, the way you know no one can do this better than you. If I don't like someone and am forced to be in a space with them, it's a god awful feeling. I can bite my tongue and say hello though. Am I being mature...or fake? I don't do social media with random co-workers, past or current, only ones who became real friends. Anyone I know in real life and am on social media with, are ones I like full-time, life is too short to waste even a second on someone you don't.
I guess friendships could be fake when you're close with someone and one person isn't happy with the way the friendship is, but doesn't say anything. This can cause resentment and a fake type of friendship. If one is not happy in a friendship, it's best to air it out to keep things real. This would have to be with a close friend and the reason for the talk has to be valid of course, if it is and the other understands, that's great. If they don't like what the other is saying or don't understand, they may shut them out. If they do, it's best to let that friendship go (or take a break), as it's not a two-way friendship. Once and for all and for whoever needs to hear this: both friends have to make efforts in order for a friendship to work. If one is making an effort and it's not recognized and returned, let it go (that goes for romantic relationships too of course). A new, nice friend is better than an old one who doesn't even try, no one deserves that.
Family is a whole other scene on social media. This takes being close and then not and still on social media with them to another level. I know all about this, as I have three sisters, it comes with the territory. In the old days we called it, living under the same roof and instead of blocking them, we locked our bedroom doors. Sisters fight, just ask the Hilton sisters on #RHOBH, they're out there doing it well for the world to see. Sisters put up with a lot of crap from each other, but a sister can go too far. When this happens and there's no apology; . . let . . The . . Great . . Freeze . . Out . . begin! Good luck thawing it out.
There are many other types of relationships with people we're on social media with that I didn't even touch on, such as a romantic ex - this one I could write a whole post on - but I think I'll leave that one alone for now, or a friend you used to like a lot and had a falling out with or ones who post about their love for the Trump Troll and it's a downer how dumb they are or ..... any other scenarios you can think of? I know, there are so many. Humans are complicated creatures.
Who would ever have thought we'd be in this situation with people? In the old days, when a friendship or a romantic relationship ended, they were done, never to be seen again from that moment on. . . And enter social media to the chat and just like that, you can search their name or handle into an app...and they're back!
This track is by my absolute favorite music producers, Above&Beyond and sums it all up nicely: