In Love

Young love is so precious. I still think about my first real boyfriend and I hope he's happy. I'm not on facebook, so I'm not in touch with him. I doubt he's on there anyway, it's not his thing. We share years of memories together of a time when anything seemed possible. We were so in love and thought we would be together forever, those words seemed so magical then. At such a young age, late teens / early twenties, we have no idea what real adulthood is like: bills, children, responsibilities, work. Those things can make any adult relationship challenging and create the need to work at the relationship, for a young couple, those things can seem like a fantasy.

Young love is so easy. You're living at your parent's house, with a car and nothing standing in your way, except schoolwork and maybe a small part-time job, if that. There's a pretty good chance you want to get away from your house, so you hop in your car and take off to your young boyfriend's house. What a contrast to adult life. Adult life, your boyfriend is no longer a boyfriend, he's a partner, could still technically be a boyfriend, but could also be a husband and/or a girlfriend or wife, maybe none at all and you're doing it all on your own. Not as easy and free as it was as a teenager. There's much more involved, now it really could be forever and now, that could be a scary thought. 

Young love is fun. The income from that part-time job could be spent on anything both of your sweet little hearts desired: the movies, dinners, shopping - no need to ever think about diapers, as those weren't in the picture yet - car accessories, going to the beach for the weekend at the last minute - with no need to ever think about home depot. Just a different life and lifestyle. Back then, the thought of caring for another human being was locked far away in the back of the mind. A relationship was easy, fun and exciting, everything it should be at that age. Little did you know, it was preparing you for a different type of relationship down the road, when you would need to become a team and for it to be fun and exciting, you will have to make those moments happen, when life can make you tired and not so interested in doing so anymore.

Adult love is real. Children change the playing field. Only until you have one will you ever understand how and why. It's not something us people with children can explain, that's why we're like our own secret club. Only we know the sacrifices, joys, challenges, happiness and struggles we go through. Talking about children to someone who has none, is like telling a blind person what it's like to see - it's near impossible. The contrast from young love to adult love is enormous. With young love, when you're changing and your partner is also changing, a natural progression towards a separation takes place and eventually the two split. In adult love, change still happens in people, however separating is not so natural and is much more involved of a process. It forces us to look deep within ourselves to try and work on the relationship, to see if maybe, it really is possible to be together...forever.

Popular Posts