My Vow To You Angel
When they want our attention, they'll take it good or bad. If I'm busy and he wants it, he'll mastermind a plan to get it. He knows if he takes my headphones and bangs them on the counter, I'll perk up. He doesn't know how fragile those stupid things are and how easily they break. The plan goes into action, I make my way down to the kitchen and on queue, Bang! Bang! Bang! on the counter in front of me. I try and respect him as a human being and not rip things out of his hands, so firmly I say, "Please stop banging those headphones honey, they can break and give them to me please."
He has my attention now, which he's thrilled about. They're kids, they don't understand that cranky grown ups reeeeally like their headphones and sometimes they're the only thing keeping them sane. Bang! Bang! Bang! Next thing you know, they're broken. These are the headphones I've been trying to keep out of his reach for some time, for this exact reason. What happens next is what I tell myself in meditation mantras to not do, scream! What I should have done was picked him up and put him in time out. Time out gets so old though and is physically exhaustive. The screaming worked :/, he cried and got upset and I think now understands not to do that again.
Since the day he was born, I vowed to be a mommy who never screams or spanks their kid. I have never spanked my kid, nor will I ever, this is not in my books. Screaming is another story. I'm a working mama with stress and deadlines and a darling little boy who loves to see me react. I have signs on my fridge to remind me to parent calmly, I tell myself every morning that, "Today will be a great day with my cutie." I reward him for good behavior and play soothing music for him before school. I hang out in forts for hours, play cars, pirates and school...and enjoy every minute of it.
For the most part, it's smooth sailing and I've got this mommy thing down. But some days just aren't good. Sometimes mommy is grumpy or sleepy or just not feeling well and needs a little alone time. Kiddies don't care that grown ups need alone time. When my angel wants my attention, he'll be sure and get it one way or another, I have to admire his determination. When I do scream at him, I feel horrible after and go into make-up mode. I'm his for hours on end, he can make me a crook or a police woman or tell me what kind of car he wants me to make out of Lego. This only reinforces his plan and tells him that it worked.
You see, kids are resilient. One scream here and there doesn't affect them much. If it gets them what they want, they'll take it and be mischievous over and over again. The cute thing here is, they do it for our love - insert mommy guilt. Yeah so, as soon as I finish this post, I'll be making more signs to put up, in other parts of the house. Those signs will remind me that, he'll sacrifice being screamed at, to get me right where he wants me to be.
Therefore; today, I am reinstating my vows. From here on out, I promise to be a mommy who never screams at their kid...ever!
-Fabiola Conrado #parenting #kiddies #love #cuties #huggies #kisses